Monday, August 13, 2012

Mitt Romney's Taxes - I've figured them out!

There's been a lot of hype about Mitt Romney's taxes lately. The presumptive Republican nominee has released only 2 years of his tax returns, making some people think he's hiding something. We've all been trying to figure out what could possibly be in his tax returns that he doesn't want people to see. Walking home from work today, it hit me. If I were rich and had been planning on running for president for 5-6 years or more, I would have seen these types of attacks coming and therefore used them to my advantage. Here's what I would have done if I were in Romney's shoes:

For these three years or so, I would spend my money in the most selfless manner. Each year, my spending would be something like this:
  • 40% -> Taxes (or whatever is my "fair share")
  • 10% -> Tithing to my Church (like Romney, I'm a Mormon)
  • 10% -> Donate to find a cure for Cancer and to fight AIDS
  • 10% -> Provide free work training programs for the unemployed
  • 10% -> Create scholarship funds for needy students
  • 10% -> Give start-up funds to new small business owners
  • 10% -> And with this last part of my personal money, I would place it towards paying down the national debt.
2010 & 2011:
For the last two years before the election, I would begin off-shoring my investments to places like the Cayman Islands and Swiss bank accounts. That way, as soon as I release just these two years, my opponents would go crazy, calling me snobbish, tax-evasive, and un-American. Then I would keep the previous years secret as a secret weapon.

About 1 Month before the election:
Right before the election, after months and months of pressure from the media and the public, I would finally and "reluctantly" unleash my secret weapon and show the whole world what a good guy I am. On top of that, everyone would see how wrong my opponent had been for all of those negative attack ads. It would work very much to my advantage at just the right moment.

You may think this idea is far-fetched, but think about how much sense it makes. I mean, really, if you knew you'd be running for president 5-6 years down the road, wouldn't you realize that people will want to see your tax returns? If you had had this same idea, wouldn't it have seemed appealing to you? What do you think?


  1. That is very sneaky. I like it.

  2. In all reality, I think it's because he donated a whole bunch to Proposition 8. The time period works out.